Clash of the Titan

The Marshal has been annoyed with the neighbors lately. You see, Titanescu spends most of his evenings on the bed with us, and glares towards our front door whenever their baby can be heard or nails are hammered, like the other day.

Titanescu has paws of Russian bear
Titanescu has paws of Russian bear

He is generally cranky, and can go from 0 to Pissy in less than two seconds but he kept staring at the window with a look that said: “Твою мать!

And I made the mistake to reach out to pet him on the head.

It was like a scene from a bar fight: he spun round to stare at my outstretched hand with a pissed off look and smacked it with an audible “whap!”

Sounded like a handful of putty thrown hard against a wall, no sh*t. It echoed through the room.

Unfortunately for Rhuda-an, he was sitting on her chest as she started laughing.

When Titanescu gets mad, everyone needs to be real quiet for a while. Those guffaws pissed him off all the more and he snapped his jaws at her hand before rearing his head back, mouth wide open in the longest hiss I’ve heard since 1979, exhaling a cloud of fetid fish breath at her.
His lips curled, some spittle blew forth, some just dribbled out and it lasted so long he almost coughed at the end… Right in her face.

Because we couldn’t stop laughing uncontrollably, he jumped off and ambled into the kitchen with his weird walk, ankles together, feet kicking outward.

We followed him in there, but there’s one more thing about the old coot: when you piss him off, he shuns you. He turns his back to you and will ignore you completely. A little bit like this:

It took him maybe another 20 minutes to cool down enough that he could come back and be with us…

…and we love him.

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… And speaking of play…

I know we’re maybe supposed to talk to the cats about catnip… But it’s too much fun and they’re all having a good time. Jenny in particular, likes to chew on her toys. Especially after I place them in the catnip jar and shake it…

Chew, hug and toss ’em. This last time, of course, she farted when I reached down to pet her…

Gimme some...
Gimme some…
Mousy! I LOVE Mousy!
Mousy! I LOVE Mousy!
Om-nom-nom-nom
Om-nom-nom-nom
INTENSE NOM
INTENSE NOM
Annnd... Mellowing out....
Annnd… Mellowing out….

 

Everything is illuminated
Everything is illuminated


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Catuesday morning in seven movements

As a follow-up to last Caturday, this is what went on this morning at 5 am…

Tito started with his monkey-boy routine of hanging upside down on the cat tower…

Don't you wish your girlfriend...
Don’t you wish your girlfriend…
... Was sexy like me?
… Was sexy like me?

Notice the rare evil glow in his eyes…

Meh...
Meh…

Although not everyone was impressed…

Oh, you want some?!?
Oh, you want some?!?

Someone was.

Can you make it? Here I'll toss you a rope...
Can you make it? Here I’ll toss you a rope…

PSYCH.

GET OFF MY TOWER
GET OFF MY TOWER

Meanwhile the old coot didn’t even care what was on tee-vee…

Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z....
Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z….


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Midnight Movie Madness “Karate -Robo Zaborgar”: a boy and his bike

Karate-Robo Zaborgar” – (114 mns, Japan, 2011 – NR)

As the saying goes, ‘first I was like OMG, then I LOL’d’… On this side of the ring, the good guys: Daimon and his motorcycle , the titular Zaborgar thingamajig. The Zaborgar thing transforms into a robot which fights bad guys and bad robots alike with karate. It’s also made from Daimon’s dead brother’s DNA, extracted and mechanized by Daimon’s Nobel Prize winning scientist dad.

If this wasn’t enough baggage, while training in karate years ago, Daimon witnessed the death of his father, who had been captured by the evil Sigma organization, trolling about in the sky aboard what looks like – well, a gigantic ass.

Thankfully, Daimon was spared the spectacle of his father’s humiliation (his word) at the hands of Dr. Akunomiya’s cyborg henchmen, who inflicted titty-twisters on the venerable scientist, before he leaped off the giant ass in the sky and got nuked in mid-air by a laser blast, exploding above Daimon’s karate class… Did I mention the professor used to breast-feed his sons..?

I know. At this point you might think an aspirin is in order but perhaps a stiff drink is more apropos. We still have to discuss the bad guys, the Samurai robot and the Diarrhea robot. That’s right: the Diarrhea robot, an ant spewing acid from both ends.  As for Samurai robot, he has giant lips designed to kiss politicians on the mouth, stealing their DNA. Their karate skills are no match for Zaborgar, but Miss Cyborg and her missile-launching bra is another matter. Why, she even manages to steal  Daimon’s heart (not literally)…

With Daimon’s loyalty tested by corrupt politicians he’s sworn to protect and his heart divided between Zaborgar and Miss Cyborg, which path will he take? To find out, let’s kill a few people and flash forward twenty-five years…

This is more than a revival of ’70s Japanese television, “Karate Robo Zaborgar” is a comedy  well off the beaten path, in the same vein as “Gentlemen Broncos“. “Karate Robo Zaborgar” pits high-school misfits (both the good and bad guys) against the true villains: lecherous, corrupt politicians, with slow-mo explosions, Bruce Lee moves and moos, ludicrous subtitles and very weird innuendos…

Karate Robo Zaborgar” gets five jellybeans….

5 beans
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Caturday: what you want and what you get

Waiting for the Pointy Eared people to work out their treaties and other political deadlocks, I look through older photos and forward to the tribe coming together.
So today is part retrospective, part look back to the future…

This is what I want:

Caturday Tito Kitsy Jenny
L to R: Maz, Jenny and yes, Tito

Tito does the camouflage very well on this dark shiny blanket, but I think Titan will blend in even better…

… This is what I get:

Jenny going monkey crazy on cat tower
“La Voltigeuse” on a cat tower that’s seen better days

And a really good thing it is that we “moored” the tower to the bookcase, or it would have been toppled countless times…

This is what I want:

Little Tito and Boober
I wuvs you Bubby…

The Boober did have the patience of a saint…

This is what I got:

The cat tower has seen better days
Young Tito pole dancing

Meanwhile, next door:

Titan in new surroundings
Titan a.k.a. Captain Stubby

Just under Titan’s stubby tail is a teddy bear. It’s not what it looks like: these are the bears’ eyes and nose.
Maybe in the future we’ll have a cat named Jupiter or Jove, and Titan will moon him, rather easy with that nub of his…

Dedicated to our spectacular dramatis personae Maz Whang and Boober…

Kitsy sunning in the kitchen
Dramatic Kitsy being… Dramatic
Boober and his toys
The ultimate charmer

Finally, I now realize I blamed the cats unfairly when I couldn’t find my socks… I had no idea!


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Caturday: The Good, The Mad, and The Bored

Another Caturday rolls around and life is beginning to smooth out a bit. Titan is still in his safe room but he’s adjusting well. We’re getting him started on kitty introductions. The day before yesterday, he saw Tito at the door (across the room) and he hissed. Yesterday, Tito was allowed to spend about 2 minutes exploring the room while Titan watched from the bed. He didn’t hiss. This morning, I cracked open the door and Titan came over and stopped about two feet away from Tito. He hissed once, but didn’t run away. He studied Tito for a moment and went back to his human pillow (aka Lastech). We’re advancing slowly. 🙂

As for the theme of today’s photos…

Tito and Miss Jenny
The Good
Tito
The Mad (as in stark raving)
Miss Jenny
The Mad… again
Titan
The Bored

And now for something completely different. WARNING!! Cute overdose is imminent!


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Raccooneers of New Barbary Coast: threat over the water

Most San Francisco visitors I encounter seem eager to run through certain areas of the City, just so they can snap a few pictures here and there, before returning to their hotel satisfied they’ve pretty much seen it all… Fools.

It is like this:

The photos below were taken at tremendous risk, hence the shaky quality of some shots, but one does not simply tangle with raccooneers and expect to hightail it fully intact.

 They saw us. Sh*t's about to get real
They saw us. Sh*t’s about to get real

For those few who understand there’s more to the park than meets the cursory glance, I say go to the Conservatory of Flowers, Bison paddock or Stow Lake, all those storied places worth hours if not days of exploration, “but I do warn ye, if ye value yer life: ye stay well clear o’ North Lake. Place be full o’ monsters with ’em little teeth”.

The party readying to come ashore
The party readying to come ashore

We ain’t – I mean we’re not talking about cute Strawberry Hill over in Stow Lake with them owls and their neighbors, the blue herons. No.

Land Ho!
Land Ho!

I’m talking about that gloomy islet, New Barbary Coast, where Charlotte Raccoon (née Badger) and the others, like the Harpes,  scourge of squirrels and raiders of birds’ nests, ply their trade from dusk ’til dawn…

Who's that devil with a blue peeper?
Who’s that devil with a blue peeper? Major Tom?!?
A stare to chill the hardiest soul
A stare to chill the hardiest soul

One last word of warning: don’t feed the raccooneers, they’re turning into fat b****s… This ain’t no Disney movie.

raccoon smells humansYeah, bring your camera too, 'cuz we're gonna eat all of that
Yeah, bring your camera too, ‘cuz we’re gonna eat all of that


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2012: JBoD’s year in review

Happy New Year!

Now is the time to take a minute and look back on this past year, and the ways it affected the JBoD microcosm.

We spent much of 2012 watching sunsets and wildlife (fins!) from local beaches, but in April, we chose to visit the neighboring hill known as Bernalwood where stunning California poppies in full bloom awaited. On another more recent trip, amazing clouds treated us to an ‘air show’…

California poppies on Bernal Hill
California poppies on Bernal Hill

In May, we finally managed a trip to see the California Academy of Sciences. The albino alligator named Claude is a real beauty.

Academy of Sciences
Claude on his warming rock. He’s quite a handsome devil. Photo by Ron DeCloux.

I took a lot of photos, so it’s in four parts. One, two, three and four.

In May, our glorious Golden Gate Bridge turned 75 years old. I’ve lived here for ten years and I never get tired of seeing her.

Golden Gate Bridge

In June, a contractor working a few doors down from our home base cut into a gas line, resulting in a gas explosion and fire. Purely by chance, prevailing winds minimized the spread of the damage, a very good thing considering how long it took to shut off the gas. The kind of scene best left in movies, not real life. The Pointy Eared people weren’t amused…

Gas fire and explosion on San Bruno Ave
Firefighters in action. The tan and brown building on the far left is where the construction was. The dentist office was in the white building.

Then in July, we lost our sweet, comical tyrannical food thief Kitsy to FIP. It was sudden and awful and I still haven’t been able to write a proper post for him. As for Lastech, he is still coming to terms with the possibility that the virus which took him might have been introduced by Miss Jenny. So little is known about FIP and no test being available, it remains a painful mystery.

Kitsy narrating LOL woman in black
“… Don’t go chasing shadows, Gigadoon…”

In August, we went to the park on a foggy morning and came across some wildlife with a pissy attitude.

Belligerent crayfish Hey stupid

In September, Miss Nightshade Jenny brought me a most bizarre gift.

Miss Nightshade Jenny
Don’t let those innocent blue peepers fool you

Later in September, we got to see the Space Shuttle Endeavor fly over the Golden Gate Bridge. Incredible!

Space Shuttle Endeavor by Lastech
Space Shuttle Endeavor by Lastech

In November, we went to the Japanese Tea Garden and Arboretum for a bit of zen. We wound up having a wonderful surprising encounter with a hawk.

The hawk was sitting in the tree just above eye level and only ten feet from the path.
The hawk was sitting in the tree just above eye level and only ten feet from the path.

A week or so later, we went exploring the Coastal Trail near the Golden Gate Bridge. We encountered another hawk, a couple of hummingbirds, a slug and a wonderful sunset.

Anna's hummingbird
Did I mention that hummingbirds like the pretty purple flowers?

We finished off the year by exploring the cliffs around Battery Mendell, a coastal battery that was built before WWI.

Battery Mendell
Photo by Rudha-an

That was our 2012 for the most part. Some was good and some was bad. Hopefully, 2013 will be an even better year.

Happy New Year from JBoD

Rudha-an, Lastech, Tito, and Miss Nightshade Jenny


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Christmas Movie Madness: “rare exports: a Christmas tale”

The evil of Farther Christmas has been unleashed upon the world once more. Can a small group of reindeer herders catch him in time to sell it to the Americans?

Rare exports: a Christmas tale” – (2010, Finland, 84 minutes – rated R)

Like all industries, Christmas is made up of many businesses, the more unsavory and dangerous ones, the more “interesting” the folklore.

The hunters
The hunters

While NORAD pretends to track Santa’s sleigh every year, the real hunting takes place on the frozen ground of Northern Finland, Lapland to be exact. There, rough men practice skills honed over generations, working in groups of three: the tracker, the marker and the sniper. Their quarry is the Wild Father Christmas, an elusive and savage predator pouncing on reindeer and naughty children alike. The following video is NSFW:

In “Rare exports: a Christmas tale“, Mount Kurvatunturi, the site where Father Christmas was entombed is being “excavated” with explosives  by an American company, Unwittingly, they unleash the ancient evil. It is now up to local reindeer herders and father and son Rauno and Pietari Kontio (Jorma and Onni Tommila) to capture the beast and sell it to the Americans.

Rare Exports

based on  the 2003 short “Rare Exports, Inc.” posted above, “Rare Exports: a Christmas tale” is another highly enjoyable example of dry, dead-pan Nordic humor, in the vein of “Trollhunter” or “the sound of noise“. Monty Python lives…  And…

… Father Christmas is out there, ravenous, nasty and lethal. Until the tame final product, result of hard work and hours of beatings, is fit for shipment around the world. “Rare exports: a Christmas tale” is where it begins…

Rare Exports: a Christmas tale” gets five jellybeans. They should show this in schools.

5 beans


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Caturday morning mania: It’s NOT Pon farr

No, I am NOT a Trekkie. The proper term is Trekker, thank you. That said, the playtime of Tito and Miss Jenny bears a close resemblance to Klingon foreplay. Pon farr? Not so much. Be aware, Tito is neutered and Miss Jenny is spayed. We are responsible kitty people. I figure that whoever wrote about the Klingons and their sex life had to have had a fascination with cats, big and small.

Jenny as Klingon
jIH dok !!!
Tito as Klingon
maj dok !!!

After the playtime and violence that occurs, this is the result.

Tito and Miss Jenny as Klingons
Tlinghan jIH !!!

Miss Jenny, as an orphan did not have a jinaq. Tito didn’t mind.

Ok, here’s a bit of humorous Christmas music. It may not be safe for work, so beware. This is brought to you by rathergoodstuff at Youtube.

catnuts


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