Kitsy

April 8, 2012October 29, 2013

Night feeding the cats: Cloverfield, Jurassic Park and the Alamo

This just happened. Oh, in the last 40 minutes or so.

Maz: “- Mmmmraw…. Meeeeewe….

Rudha-an: – Unnnh.nnuh. Nno baby, wut time is it..?

Me: – Hrrumph… I’ts… Four thirty. Jesus.

Maz: – Hmmraow. Rrrweee. MRAOW.

Rudha-an: – Not now baby, it’s too – (another body landed on the bed)

Me: – T-Tito what the @#$%? [He takes off]

Rudha-an (as a result of being trampled by Maz): – Would you stop..? Christ almighty. No I’m not going in there. ‘Course I love you too but Jeesus.

Me: – [BONK] Sh*t, who did I kick off the bed..?

Rudha-an: – Musta been Tito.

Me: – No it felt lighter than – [cats are heard romping through the apartment: TROMP-TROMP-TROMP-MMMMMREEEWEEEE!-TAGADA-TAGADA-TAGADA-TSOIN-TSOIN! I dunno… Suddenly one lands next to my feet before taking off at warp speed, claws raking my ankles] AAAGH!!! @#$#^%&!!!!! F*****G $%&*&##@@!!!!!!

Rudha-an: – Told you to cover your feet….

Me: – [for the umpteenth time] THEY GET WARM… Joder!!! [Yeah, ’cause I cuss in other languages too…] Bastards!

Maz: – Rrrrrewweee!!! MmROW!

Me: – Hey f***k you pal. [I grab him and wrap him in the blanket against me. As I grab him his legs stiffen out, kicking every which way, like hypnic jerking, one claw nailing Rudha-an in the arm]

Rudha-an: – DAMMIT!!!! $#@^%&*!!!!

I’m holding on tight to Maz, petting him as he tries to burrow an escape tunnel. He turns and MMMRAOWS in my face. I gotta come up for air: I just smelled the entire Seattle fish market fill my nose. Blech.

Jenny, I can tell from the weight before she even utters a chirrup, leaps on my shoulder, slides and rakes my neck with a claw. The Deguello echoes loud in my head. Flesh wound. I’ll live.

From a corner of the room, not sure which, I feel Tito either orchestrating the mayhem or perhaps waiting to come in and save us… Who knows, both things have happened in the past.

Someday these fangs will come for blood... — Someday these fangs will come for blood…

YES! He jumps next to me and grabs at Jenny who suddenly takes off!

NO! he climbs on my gut and takes a flying leap from there.

I fart. That’s it, I’m awake now…

April 7, 2012April 7, 2012

Caturday: cold Easter edition…

We’ve seen worse, but recent days have seen the thermometer dip to about 40 at night and it takes longer for the sun to warm everything up in the morning.

I took this picture a few weeks ago at about 7 a.m.

2012 shoreline sunrise — Looks cold..? It is.

That means more cuddling time for Miss Jenny, Marshal Tito and the f****g fascist depicted in the banner, pardon my French…. It also means more noms for calories and Maz has now taught Jenny to wake mommy up for them. Lots of pawing, standing on hips, face-licks with hellish breath, etc…

Tito is the only one not begging for food anymore…

Tito face close up — Weather looks cloudy with a heart of gold

Every so often, I do forget and leave food unattended. Maz never forgets.

cat eating pizza — Pizza? Why not, s'long as there's no peppers...

Wonder what they dream of… The cat version of “the King and I”? Complete with coo’s and chirrups?

cats cuddling — He is mine and I wuvs him and I shall call him my Lake Titicaca

Or maybe they dream of centipede bunnies crapping skittles. Who knows?

Naturally in the real world, cats would devour the bunnies, resulting in… Well, just watch.

March 31, 2012March 31, 2012

Caturday: dino-snores

Ever wonder what the kittehs dream of as they roll on their back in their sleep? Akkala-ka-boom-boom indeed…

Mazuzu sleeps — Beware the waking Mazuzu

Boober contorting — "The Exorcist" twist

March 17, 2012

Caturday: some favorite kittoons pics and a great story

I have a thing for feral cats, and Rudha-an has one for kittens. Feral kittens, therefore, are our favorites. We’ll never know exactly where they came from, what they went through, why they are so scared of shoes, think of nothing but murder, and yet are so hungry for affection.

Each one has a story but they’ll never tell even if they could, we just wonder as they teach us to live in the moment.

This week, here are some of my favorite photos of our pointy eared people, followed by a clip of very funny story telling. About a sloth. Enjoy.

Miss Jenny and Mazuzu — Maz and Jenny in a tender moment

Mazuzu art deco — Mazuzu: art deco or fascist icon?

Jenny on kitchen chair — The Queen of Cool

And now, enjoy this very funny sloth story from Kristen Bell on the “Ellen” show.

January 13, 2012

Friday Night Cats Blogging: Paraskevidekatriaphobia

Paraskevidekatriaphobia, the irrational and morbid fear that something really, really, but really bad is going to happen when the calendar turns to Friday the 13th.
Irrational? But there is a greater fear about a more definite and immediate threat of getting your head ‘sploded by cats. And there’s no name for that yet.

Friday 13 Tito and Maz — 0927 hrs - 1/13/2011: they stopped speaking as I walked into the kitchen

Even Miss Jenny was excluded from their conversation… Whatever, man… ‘Spect the ‘stache…

Eventually, Maz ambled back into the living room and “parked” himself in front of the television until…

Maz being nothing if not excessive, he ‘sploded another head, lifting his paw under the strain. Either that or he was passing gas.

Kapow Maz blows hedds — See what I did there? No? Watch again!

For those who haven’t mastered their powers yet, and I pray they don’t, Tito recommends starting with something easy like the photobomb…

December 30, 2011December 30, 2011

Friday Night Cats Blogging: with sadness and a whiff of disgust

Regrettably, I need to talk about the passing of two of my favorites… Let me rephrase that: the passing of gas by Mazuzu “Mace” Whang and Jenny N.
This is another dimension to the old “fear the cat butt” slogan, such as the one I wrote about in “when the nitty gets real gritty”.

When I grew up, our cats were indoors/outdoors with a large yard in which to romp. Our current crop of kittounes are housebound, but still get plenty of exercise. So, why they should squeeze out the foulest SBDs* on a semi-regular basis, I have no clue.
There’s no competition to eat, they all have plenty and stress-free nomming sessions.

peas in a pod farts in a box — Peas in a pod, farts in a box...

I have no idea whether Tito ever cuts the cheese, but there is no doubting the other two open up the valves of hell whenever they get heavy petting.
The most foul? Miss Jenny. That’s right, and I can tell when it’s her as the air takes on a different hue and seems to shimmer as in the summer heat. That’s just before the cloud envelops you like an overly friendly drunk who hugs you and won’t let go and follows you all the way to the window.

Jenny's fart photo using a Mass Spectrometer — Jenny's fart photographed with a mass spectrometer

You best start the fan, because the fiendish aerosol hangs about for a while and sounds travels slower through it: in her farts, no one can hear you scream. It even generates its own lightning!

No. There is no silver lining to those clouds… As to Maz, you can hear the faintest “buzz”, a bit like a distant boat motor and get a look of heavy sarcasm: “there’s more room outside than inside”, it seems to say. Then you feel like someone pelted you with rotten eggs and cat food.

* SBD: Silent But Deadly

December 23, 2011December 23, 2011

Friday Night Cats blogging: New World Order

We know cats took over the internet.
We have always known this would be the beginning, and we have proof that the end is nigh for man’s dominion over this world…
Tito has been exercising his power of inflicting pain on humans who displease Him from afar. Witness Him assuming direct control over this human on TV.

Mazuzu Whang displaying His power, eyes and ears in perfect celestial alignment… Did I mention he can fly?

Kitsy eyes and ears alignment — Thus spake Mazuzu Whang

Miss Jenny Herself ripped tufts of Her fur in rage (well okay, it was a fluffy toy but the intent was chillingly clear).

Jenny furry toy — BOW DOWN! FEAR THE CAT BUTT!

Traumatic though this upheaval may seem, Cats prove themselves to be kind Masters, Ceiling Cat be praised…

December 17, 2011December 17, 2011

Caturday blogging: Saturday morning cattoons

Time for the Pointy Eared Superstars to shine a bit:

Maz on black blanket — I make this look goooood....

Tito Jenny in basket — Wake us when the food's ready...

There’s still the occasional bout of hissing, and Miss Jenny sounds a little bit like this (sorry about the definition, but we’re talking post WWII cartoons, here):

The little romance between Tito and Jenny is a little bit like this:

December 16, 2011December 17, 2011

Friday! Miss Jenny says…

And what a beautiful day it is…

I hope it’s a wonderful one for you as well…

November 13, 2011November 13, 2011

Day two: Hedwig and the angry hiss..?

Hmmm… Is Nightshade Jenny trying to tell us something, I wonder?

Kitsy and Tito at the door — Open. Open.Open.

Previously, on this channel, butt-head Maz Whang hissed at Jenny and at my wife when she picked him up to, let’s say “decrease the atmospheric pressure” in the room. Made me wish I had the camera ready, it looked like something out of the first “exorcist” and all I could think of was:

angry sphynx — Ego te absolvo in nomine Patris, et Filiii, et Spiritus Sancti!!!!

Not Mazuzu Whang, but close enough. Tito, on the other hand, seems much more mellow and just very curious about the little ball of fur. There is a possibility that Tito could help in bringing her out of her shell, but we’ll explore that later.

In another post, this one about Mazuzu, I’d mentioned that it’s sometimes better to wait for the newly adopted to come up with their own name. And well, beyond the oh-so-sweet blinking gaze of Jenny’s blue peepers, I now sense something more than just the cute, vulnerable fuzzy-wuzzy that makes us go all kajagoogooey and ghoo-buh-ghee? Goo-buh-ghee-ish.

What happened yesterday, I can’t quite discount or otherwise sweep under the carpet. When in the safe room with my wife in the evening, Jenny decided to do a bit of exploring. Wonderful! Yes?

But when my wife was perceived to be getting “danger close” to the dish of wet food, Jenny fixed her with her ice-blue eyes and hissed a clear warning. Sooo-eee! We got us a handful there I think, so let’s see:

Hedwig \he(d)-wig\ as a girl’s name is of Old German origin, and the meaning of Hedwig is “contention, strife“. Actress Hedy Lamarr was born Hedwig Kiesler.

Hmmm. Hedy… Hedwige… Hedda…