Night feeding the cats: Cloverfield, Jurassic Park and the Alamo

This just happened. Oh, in the last 40 minutes or so.

Maz: “- Mmmmraw…. Meeeeewe….

Rudha-an: – Unnnh.nnuh. Nno baby, wut time is it..?

Me: – Hrrumph… I’ts… Four thirty. Jesus.

Maz: – Hmmraow. Rrrweee. MRAOW.

Rudha-an: – Not now baby, it’s too – (another body landed on the bed)

Me: – T-Tito what the @#$%? [He takes off]

Rudha-an (as a result of being trampled by Maz): – Would you stop..? Christ almighty. No I’m not going in there. ‘Course I love you too but Jeesus.

Me: – [BONK] Sh*t, who did I kick off the bed..?

Rudha-an: – Musta been Tito.

Me: – No it felt lighter than – [cats are heard romping through the apartment: TROMP-TROMP-TROMP-MMMMMREEEWEEEE!-TAGADA-TAGADA-TAGADA-TSOIN-TSOIN! I dunno… Suddenly one lands next to my feet before taking off at warp speed, claws raking my ankles] AAAGH!!! @#$#^%&!!!!! F*****G $%&*&##@@!!!!!!

Rudha-an: – Told you to cover your feet….

Me: – [for the umpteenth time] THEY GET WARMJoder!!! [Yeah, ’cause I cuss in other languages too…] Bastards!

Maz: – Rrrrrewweee!!! MmROW!

Me: – Hey f***k you pal. [I grab him and wrap him in the blanket against me. As I grab him his legs stiffen out, kicking every which way, like hypnic jerking, one claw nailing Rudha-an in the arm]

clover

Rudha-an: – DAMMIT!!!! $#@^%&*!!!!

I’m holding on tight to Maz, petting him as he tries to burrow an escape tunnel. He turns and MMMRAOWS in my face. I gotta come up for air: I just smelled the entire Seattle fish market fill my nose. Blech.

Jenny, I can tell from the weight before she even utters a chirrup, leaps on my shoulder, slides and rakes my neck with a claw. The Deguello echoes loud in my head. Flesh wound. I’ll live.

Fierce creature...
Fierce creature…

From a corner of the room, not sure which, I feel Tito either orchestrating the mayhem or perhaps waiting to come in and save us… Who knows, both things have happened in the past.

Someday these fangs will come for blood...
Someday these fangs will come for blood…

YES! He jumps next to me and grabs at Jenny who suddenly takes off!

NO! he climbs on my gut and takes a flying leap from there.

I fart. That’s it, I’m awake now…


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5 Replies to “Night feeding the cats: Cloverfield, Jurassic Park and the Alamo”

  1. what a great humorous piece! thank you for the laugh out loud fun. i just love your cats. they remind me of my dogs LOL. the dogs in this house rule just as the cats in your home rule. this was great and the photos were so much fun!

    1. Hee hee, I’m glad you enjoyed it. Some of the more colorful language was omitted, but that’s exactly the way it happened this morning. I hope you had a good birthday. We went to the duck pond and then napped. It was nice.

  2. the only thing worse is locking the little &%^# out of the bedroom, and then they sit and wail, “mommy, let me in! daddy, let me in! we promise we’ll be good!” …until it happens again, that is!

    1. You got that right. Besides, with our luck the neighbors would call 911 to report that we were killing someone. LOL Kitsy has a very loud voice when he wants to cut loose.

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