Caturday: four legged Klingons

“And they call it kitty love…”

That’s where the cuteness ends: Jenny starts by kissing on Tito, they exchange a few licks, and settle down for a minute, maybe a few seconds.

Tito & Jenny on love cushion
The quiet before the storm

Then the wrestling begins. The headlocks and body slamming, what every Trekker recognizes as the Klingon mating ritual, somewhat different from the Vulcan mating ritual which also involves ass kicking, but of a Starship Captain.

Star Trek yourself
Someone could get hurt…

As I type this, for instance, Jenny is still greeting me home, dancing figure eights under the chair, pawing at my leg and grabbing my arm to rub against. With purring and claws. I’m already bleeding in three spots. I got bit. Not too hard but firmly.

I will show you a paper tiger
I will show you a paper tiger

Must be the Tortie (Tortoiseshell) in her, the little brute. As a wrestler, she has a very solid stance: wide with hind legs bent. We saw her more than once using this position to wrap Tito in an embrace before slamming him down. Then again, he gives as good as he gets, and even has her retreating often, though never for long. Never for long.

I’m bleeding from a fourth scratch now.

Jenny will also walk on my pillow stopping just long enough to nom on my skull. If I pet her, which I always do, she farts. If my wife leans over to nose bonk her, Jenny’ll cough in her face, like Carol Beer on “Little Britain”:

Her newest trick: not a cough, but a vurp (a burp which sounds vomitous). All I can say is thank Ceiling Cat she doesn’t eat mice. Things are gross enough. Annnnd, I’ve got an eighth scratch… Well, a puncture, more like… Still, I feel like one of Jack the Ripper’s playthings.


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Night feeding the cats: Cloverfield, Jurassic Park and the Alamo

This just happened. Oh, in the last 40 minutes or so.

Maz: “- Mmmmraw…. Meeeeewe….

Rudha-an: – Unnnh.nnuh. Nno baby, wut time is it..?

Me: – Hrrumph… I’ts… Four thirty. Jesus.

Maz: – Hmmraow. Rrrweee. MRAOW.

Rudha-an: – Not now baby, it’s too – (another body landed on the bed)

Me: – T-Tito what the @#$%? [He takes off]

Rudha-an (as a result of being trampled by Maz): – Would you stop..? Christ almighty. No I’m not going in there. ‘Course I love you too but Jeesus.

Me: – [BONK] Sh*t, who did I kick off the bed..?

Rudha-an: – Musta been Tito.

Me: – No it felt lighter than – [cats are heard romping through the apartment: TROMP-TROMP-TROMP-MMMMMREEEWEEEE!-TAGADA-TAGADA-TAGADA-TSOIN-TSOIN! I dunno… Suddenly one lands next to my feet before taking off at warp speed, claws raking my ankles] AAAGH!!! @#$#^%&!!!!! F*****G $%&*&##@@!!!!!!

Rudha-an: – Told you to cover your feet….

Me: – [for the umpteenth time] THEY GET WARMJoder!!! [Yeah, ’cause I cuss in other languages too…] Bastards!

Maz: – Rrrrrewweee!!! MmROW!

Me: – Hey f***k you pal. [I grab him and wrap him in the blanket against me. As I grab him his legs stiffen out, kicking every which way, like hypnic jerking, one claw nailing Rudha-an in the arm]

clover

Rudha-an: – DAMMIT!!!! $#@^%&*!!!!

I’m holding on tight to Maz, petting him as he tries to burrow an escape tunnel. He turns and MMMRAOWS in my face. I gotta come up for air: I just smelled the entire Seattle fish market fill my nose. Blech.

Jenny, I can tell from the weight before she even utters a chirrup, leaps on my shoulder, slides and rakes my neck with a claw. The Deguello echoes loud in my head. Flesh wound. I’ll live.

Fierce creature...
Fierce creature…

From a corner of the room, not sure which, I feel Tito either orchestrating the mayhem or perhaps waiting to come in and save us… Who knows, both things have happened in the past.

Someday these fangs will come for blood...
Someday these fangs will come for blood…

YES! He jumps next to me and grabs at Jenny who suddenly takes off!

NO! he climbs on my gut and takes a flying leap from there.

I fart. That’s it, I’m awake now…


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Caturday: a tale of two kittehs. Or three.

All four of our kittoons here have needed a bit of socializing right from the start. It might seem that Maz Whang didn’t, but his universe was turned upside down when we adopted him, as he’d grown up a full year with Sphynx siblings, and a couple other cats and dog.

To be wrenched from his home was traumatic, and the poor beastie gacked and crapped all over himself in the cat carrier on the way to his new digs.

No camera! No camera!
No camera! No camera!

We had to stop, clean him up and comfort him as best we could before driving on.

Sphynxes are social, but on their own terms, which aren’t always easy to decipher. They really are driven by the two related needs of warmth and sustenance, with much playtime in between.

Just like you test the warmth of a baby bottle prior to feeding, you have to ensure your hands are warm enough before petting Maz or he’ll recoil and dart away in shock and horror. I call this “ghosting” because that’s what his reaction makes me think of. We’ve said he’s been very good for Tito (and vice versa), drawing Tito out of his ‘goth’ period following Boober’s passing.

Strangers at first
Strangers at first

Finally, Tito was able to chase and play to his heart’s content with the streaker, losing excess weight in the process, and bonding with, well, an alien. Even Miss Jenny finds Mazuzu irresistible: both want to nom on Maz, who’ll leap straight up a couple feet in the air and maybe growl if a tooth racks his spine. Mmmmh. Baby back ribs…

Love happens
Love happens

Given Tito and Jenny’s “affection” for shoes, I suspect they enjoy Maz’ gym locker smell when it’s time to give him a bath. That’s usually a signal for us to drag him into the tub, but then they love the new cat smell just as much and are all over him again.

Affection? They have it. Tito tricks us into feeding him and leaves the food for Maz, knowing the alien always needs more. Smart Tito…

Maz grooms both Tito and Jenny when he beds down with either in the basket atop the computer desk, later gacking hairballs and meowing his discontent, but what can you do..? Jenny also grooms both, focusing on Maz’ ears in particular, an unexpected boon for us since Maz and Q-tips don’t mix well.

The mutual grooming society in action
The mutual grooming society in action

One of the biggest changes is something Maz started and Jenny continues: helping Tito find his voice. Because he never was very vocal at all, this watchful little thing which grew into a big cat. He now trills and coos and meows, although always in the higher pitch of a kitten. And it may be early yet to tell, but I think Jenny’s going to be the same. They both will always sound like kittens.

Tito and Jenny
Tito and Jenny

This may sound like a sign of arrested development but I prefer to think of it as a display of happiness, along with Tito’s joy at being picked up and carried from room to room for a few minutes, purring and discovering a new perspective on his world with wide eyes, rubbing his chin on our cheek as we do so. And Jenny’s happiness at going to sleep hugging my hand to her head, like a pillow.

Our two little feral rescues no longer have to survive on mean streets, they only have to romp and warm each other and their “cousin” from outer space.

It's love
It’s love

Love is in the air and scarcely displaced by Maz and Jenny’s farts. It’s all good.


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Caturday: some favorite kittoons pics and a great story

I have a thing for feral cats, and Rudha-an has one for kittens. Feral kittens, therefore, are our favorites. We’ll never know exactly where they came from, what they went through, why they are so scared of shoes, think of nothing but murder, and yet are so hungry for affection.

Each one has a story but they’ll never tell even if they could, we just wonder as they teach us to live in the moment.

This week, here are some of my favorite photos of our pointy eared people, followed by a clip of very funny story telling. About a sloth. Enjoy.

Miss Jenny and Mazuzu
Maz and Jenny in a tender moment
Tito on cushion
Tito Magnifico
Mazuzu art deco
Mazuzu: art deco or fascist icon?
Jenny on kitchen chair
The Queen of Cool

And now, enjoy this very funny sloth story from Kristen Bell on the “Ellen” show.


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Caturday Blogging: Mazuzu needs a watch or the tyranny of noms

It’s not that Maz Whang is selfish, exactly… Or even that Tito is an enabler, but… Let’s again face the fact that Maz, a bit like Bad Santa, is an eating, drinking, sh*tting machine, who zeroes in on food with purpose and violence.

He does burn through calories like a three alarm fire and prefers 80 degrees weather.

Tito would even sit on a kitchen chair, looking at us with eyes half-closed, a signal that he wants canned food, only to leave it to Maz once he showed up: in other words tricking us into feeding Maz even more.

watchful Tito
I watch and see all

But that’s just Tito being the Big Brother, the Paraclete. Three in the morning, Maz digs at my wife, standing on her for effect. Claws are always out, by the way: he always has that sense of urgency about him, like Indiana Jones pressing his face in the wall as he is about to get crushed: “we-are-going-to-die!

The rule is, though: no canned food until six a.m.

Which means that for Rudha-an, the window from 3 to 6 a.m. is a preview of purgatory, pummeled by this mace wrapped in leather while I (mostly) sleep soundly and justly. The way of the world is the way of the cat, perhaps especially one that looks like David Bowie in “the man who fell to Earth”.

Maz fleshy folds
Keeps food in the fleshy folds of his visage...

Okay, in truth, Maz is more Richard Widmark than Bowie, but he is a star.

Good thing, then, that Maz’ naked ambitions are checked by the crème brulee that is Miss Jenny. We used to joke that Maz was nuclear powered, watching him streak through the apartment, up and down the furniture and hanging from the cat tower like a monkey. But she matches him step by step and then some. And that’s no small feat.

Tito hugging Jenny
She is so nommable

So while the Whang does his thang, the blue-eyed she-devil chases after him to steal… Well, kisses, actually.

Jenny and Maz
I wuvs him

That’s right, she nuzzles both boys and grooms them to the point that we thankfully no longer need to use Q-tips on Maz’ flappers.

Maybe she can be enticed in tackling Maz when he starts his food dance at three in the morning…? No.

Nope, she’ll stand right next to him waiting for noms, maybe even egging him on. She dances to her own tune, that one: if noms aren’t forthcoming, she’ll just force Maz into a high-speed chase or chew on his leg while Tito watches from the shadows in the hallway, always waiting.

Maz Jenny Tito
Looks like a Disney movie...

So… “Jules and Jim“, or might a “Pact of Steel” be in the works? All I know is even I often wake up from being hit by a high-speed feline cannonball, making me yell “F****G FASCIST!!!” like Jeff Lebowski…


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Caturday blogging: Saturday morning cattoons

Time for the Pointy Eared Superstars to shine a bit:

Maz on black blanket
I make this look goooood....
Tito Jenny in basket
Wake us when the food's ready...

There’s still the occasional bout of hissing, and Miss Jenny sounds a little bit like this (sorry about the definition, but we’re talking post WWII cartoons, here):

The little romance between Tito and Jenny is a little bit like this:


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Something wicked this way comes

Wicked as in “cool”, that is. This little gal was named Nightshade by the wonderful staff at the San Francisco SPCA, and we’ve decided to call her Nightshade Jenny, Jenny as in Pirate Jenny from Threepenny Opera.

Little Miss Nightshade Jenny. She is quite small with ice blue eyes. Yes, she is gorgeous.
Little Miss Nightshade Jenny. She is quite small with ice blue eyes. Yes, she is gorgeous.

She’ll need time to get acclimated and has a quiet room to do so, always with one of us in it with her, she’s a shy little thing that one. Hopefully, the pictures will do her justice, she is absolutely gorgeous. But then as Leonardo Da Vinci said, the smallest feline is a masterpiece.


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Welcoming Spring: grills, bills and thrills

The cats have been feeling their oats lately, playing just a bit more vigorously than usual and sleeping just as hard…

ZZZZZZZ-Whaaa..?

We’ve been going out more and more ourselves, spending most of this past Saturday at Golden Gate Park, starting with grilled fish, shrimp and carne asada in the meadow across from Mallard Lake. We had marinated the shrimp in a mix of Clementine-tangerine juice mixed with lime juice, brown sugar, thinly sliced shallots and shredded ginger which all came out deliciously fresh tasting.

Filets of sole and carne asada, with blackened seasoning on the fish.

Grilled peppers and beer, dried bread crumbs for our hosts.

raven
Raven

Three hours later, we took a stroll around Mallard Lake where we saw this beautiful Blue Heron:

Great blue heron
Great blue heron

Looking for parking around the Arboretum, I decided to drive around Stow Lake where we saw these geese with their goslings:

Canadian Geese and goslings
Canadian Geese and goslings

Finally, the arboretum with so many flowers in bloom:

Strybing Arboretum

Strybing Arboretum

Strybing Arboretum

Strybing Arboretum

Strybing Arboretum


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