Caturday: Friday the 13th follow up…

The night of Thursday into Friday the 13th, a night of celestial mayhem, turned out to bring Tito and I ever closer…

lightning strikes San Bruno avenue
Storm re-enactment

A storm was moving through the Bay Area, with lightning strikes precise enough to hit not only the Bay bridge but a plane in flight. The plane had to dump fuel and returned safely to the airport.

Tito scared by thunder
THUNDERCATS ARE NO GO!!!

At home, as we turned off the computer and prepared to do the same with the TV, I caught something strange from the corner of my eye: a rug shimmying straight for the kitchen. A second look showed Tito hugging the floor and running for a kitchen cupboard to hide in.

I have to say, the storm was probably one of the most violent to hit the Bay Area in years.

Mazuzu sleeps through storm
Wake me up when it's ovah, dahling...

Maz, while none too pleased, was comfortably wrapped in a heavy blanket on the bed and didn’t budge. Jenny herself was sitting on the bed with a bit more nervous discomfort than he and watched Tito darting away.

Nightingale Jenny
Nightingale Jenny will make it all better...

While I don’t particularly fear that the sky will ever fall, like my ancestors the Gauls, Tito seems to be afraid of it for the both of us. The only spot he considers a refuge is the lower cupboard in the kitchen next to the stove top and behind a crock pot.

This storm kept on moving through, fortunately, and Jenny helped Tito recover with tender grooming and copious amounts of catnip she shared… Tito the Gaul. Wow. We are kin!


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Night feeding the cats: Cloverfield, Jurassic Park and the Alamo

This just happened. Oh, in the last 40 minutes or so.

Maz: “- Mmmmraw…. Meeeeewe….

Rudha-an: – Unnnh.nnuh. Nno baby, wut time is it..?

Me: – Hrrumph… I’ts… Four thirty. Jesus.

Maz: – Hmmraow. Rrrweee. MRAOW.

Rudha-an: – Not now baby, it’s too – (another body landed on the bed)

Me: – T-Tito what the @#$%? [He takes off]

Rudha-an (as a result of being trampled by Maz): – Would you stop..? Christ almighty. No I’m not going in there. ‘Course I love you too but Jeesus.

Me: – [BONK] Sh*t, who did I kick off the bed..?

Rudha-an: – Musta been Tito.

Me: – No it felt lighter than – [cats are heard romping through the apartment: TROMP-TROMP-TROMP-MMMMMREEEWEEEE!-TAGADA-TAGADA-TAGADA-TSOIN-TSOIN! I dunno… Suddenly one lands next to my feet before taking off at warp speed, claws raking my ankles] AAAGH!!! @#$#^%&!!!!! F*****G $%&*&##@@!!!!!!

Rudha-an: – Told you to cover your feet….

Me: – [for the umpteenth time] THEY GET WARMJoder!!! [Yeah, ’cause I cuss in other languages too…] Bastards!

Maz: – Rrrrrewweee!!! MmROW!

Me: – Hey f***k you pal. [I grab him and wrap him in the blanket against me. As I grab him his legs stiffen out, kicking every which way, like hypnic jerking, one claw nailing Rudha-an in the arm]

clover

Rudha-an: – DAMMIT!!!! $#@^%&*!!!!

I’m holding on tight to Maz, petting him as he tries to burrow an escape tunnel. He turns and MMMRAOWS in my face. I gotta come up for air: I just smelled the entire Seattle fish market fill my nose. Blech.

Jenny, I can tell from the weight before she even utters a chirrup, leaps on my shoulder, slides and rakes my neck with a claw. The Deguello echoes loud in my head. Flesh wound. I’ll live.

Fierce creature...
Fierce creature…

From a corner of the room, not sure which, I feel Tito either orchestrating the mayhem or perhaps waiting to come in and save us… Who knows, both things have happened in the past.

Someday these fangs will come for blood...
Someday these fangs will come for blood…

YES! He jumps next to me and grabs at Jenny who suddenly takes off!

NO! he climbs on my gut and takes a flying leap from there.

I fart. That’s it, I’m awake now…


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Caturday: cold Easter edition…

We’ve seen worse, but recent days have seen the thermometer dip to about 40 at night and it takes longer for the sun to warm everything up in the morning.

I took this picture a few weeks ago at about 7 a.m.

2012 shoreline sunrise
Looks cold..? It is.

That means more cuddling time for Miss Jenny, Marshal Tito and the f****g fascist depicted in the banner, pardon my French…. It also means more noms for calories and Maz has now taught Jenny to wake mommy up for them. Lots of pawing, standing on hips, face-licks with hellish breath, etc…

Tito is the only one not begging for food anymore…

Tito face close up
Weather looks cloudy with a heart of gold

Every so often, I do forget and leave food unattended. Maz never forgets.

cat eating pizza
Pizza? Why not, s'long as there's no peppers...

Wonder what they dream of… The cat version of “the King and I”? Complete with coo’s and chirrups?

cats cuddling
He is mine and I wuvs him and I shall call him my Lake Titicaca

Or maybe they dream of centipede bunnies crapping skittles. Who knows?

easter centipede
Mmmmh... Skittles.

Naturally in the real world, cats would devour the bunnies, resulting in… Well, just watch.


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Sunday mayhem at o-dark hundred hours…

It’s 3:40 a.m. and I’m trying to work up a movie review. The boys are pooped and crashed in their spots on the computer desk: Tito in the basket above and Maz in the doggie bed to the side.

I want to play. Play with me.
I want to play. Play with me.

Miss Jenny still wants to play and is getting bratty about it. She’s carrying this balled up piece of paper, dropping it in Maz’ bed and steps on him to get a reaction. No dice.

She jumps up to Tito’s lair, almost knocking the desk lamp clipped to the side. I can hear Tito sigh, but he doesn’t budge. Down she comes again, picking up her toy once more.

I keeled it.
I keeled it.

She bats it into the space between the TV table and the wall and lunges after it, wedging her front end down there while back-pedaling with her rear.

She farts. Oh God she farted.

She comes up victorious with paper in mouth, I guess. I can’t really tell, my eyes watering and the fumes affecting my inner ear: the image and sound on the TV seem out of sync, because sound travels at a different speed after she ‘alters’ the atmosphere. I put my hands down on the desk to steady myself, Jeez… We need to change her diet progressively, but soon. Much depends on this.

Like, the future…

Ceiling Cat told me to.
Ceiling Cat told me to.


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Caturday: dino-snores

Ever wonder what the kittehs dream of as they roll on their back in their sleep? Akkala-ka-boom-boom indeed…

Tito dreaming
Dreaming of ladders?
Mazuzu sleeps
Beware the waking Mazuzu
Jenny vampire
The undead rising?
Boober contorting
"The Exorcist" twist


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Caturday: a tale of two kittehs. Or three.

All four of our kittoons here have needed a bit of socializing right from the start. It might seem that Maz Whang didn’t, but his universe was turned upside down when we adopted him, as he’d grown up a full year with Sphynx siblings, and a couple other cats and dog.

To be wrenched from his home was traumatic, and the poor beastie gacked and crapped all over himself in the cat carrier on the way to his new digs.

No camera! No camera!
No camera! No camera!

We had to stop, clean him up and comfort him as best we could before driving on.

Sphynxes are social, but on their own terms, which aren’t always easy to decipher. They really are driven by the two related needs of warmth and sustenance, with much playtime in between.

Just like you test the warmth of a baby bottle prior to feeding, you have to ensure your hands are warm enough before petting Maz or he’ll recoil and dart away in shock and horror. I call this “ghosting” because that’s what his reaction makes me think of. We’ve said he’s been very good for Tito (and vice versa), drawing Tito out of his ‘goth’ period following Boober’s passing.

Strangers at first
Strangers at first

Finally, Tito was able to chase and play to his heart’s content with the streaker, losing excess weight in the process, and bonding with, well, an alien. Even Miss Jenny finds Mazuzu irresistible: both want to nom on Maz, who’ll leap straight up a couple feet in the air and maybe growl if a tooth racks his spine. Mmmmh. Baby back ribs…

Love happens
Love happens

Given Tito and Jenny’s “affection” for shoes, I suspect they enjoy Maz’ gym locker smell when it’s time to give him a bath. That’s usually a signal for us to drag him into the tub, but then they love the new cat smell just as much and are all over him again.

Affection? They have it. Tito tricks us into feeding him and leaves the food for Maz, knowing the alien always needs more. Smart Tito…

Maz grooms both Tito and Jenny when he beds down with either in the basket atop the computer desk, later gacking hairballs and meowing his discontent, but what can you do..? Jenny also grooms both, focusing on Maz’ ears in particular, an unexpected boon for us since Maz and Q-tips don’t mix well.

The mutual grooming society in action
The mutual grooming society in action

One of the biggest changes is something Maz started and Jenny continues: helping Tito find his voice. Because he never was very vocal at all, this watchful little thing which grew into a big cat. He now trills and coos and meows, although always in the higher pitch of a kitten. And it may be early yet to tell, but I think Jenny’s going to be the same. They both will always sound like kittens.

Tito and Jenny
Tito and Jenny

This may sound like a sign of arrested development but I prefer to think of it as a display of happiness, along with Tito’s joy at being picked up and carried from room to room for a few minutes, purring and discovering a new perspective on his world with wide eyes, rubbing his chin on our cheek as we do so. And Jenny’s happiness at going to sleep hugging my hand to her head, like a pillow.

Our two little feral rescues no longer have to survive on mean streets, they only have to romp and warm each other and their “cousin” from outer space.

It's love
It’s love

Love is in the air and scarcely displaced by Maz and Jenny’s farts. It’s all good.


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Caturday: some favorite kittoons pics and a great story

I have a thing for feral cats, and Rudha-an has one for kittens. Feral kittens, therefore, are our favorites. We’ll never know exactly where they came from, what they went through, why they are so scared of shoes, think of nothing but murder, and yet are so hungry for affection.

Each one has a story but they’ll never tell even if they could, we just wonder as they teach us to live in the moment.

This week, here are some of my favorite photos of our pointy eared people, followed by a clip of very funny story telling. About a sloth. Enjoy.

Miss Jenny and Mazuzu
Maz and Jenny in a tender moment
Tito on cushion
Tito Magnifico
Mazuzu art deco
Mazuzu: art deco or fascist icon?
Jenny on kitchen chair
The Queen of Cool

And now, enjoy this very funny sloth story from Kristen Bell on the “Ellen” show.


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Caturday: Accounting for Tastes

Loikes and disloikes:

Tito likes:
The space between drape and window
The magic fluffy blanket sent by Flumptytail
Playing fetch
Bach at low volume
Light playing on the ceiling
People’s feets
Being carried around

Dislikes:

Wind
Shoes with feets in ’em

Tito the Class Act
Tito the Class Act

Mazuzu likes:

Food. Preferably stolen
Heat
Wearing light fabric shirts loose at the pits
Laying turds astride the edge of the box
Chasing red dots
Roughhousing
Gut rubs
Being clean
Hamming it up for pics
Soaking up photons

Dislikes:

Wind
Being Cold
Baths
Hiss of the soda bottle when the cap is popped

kitsy aka Maz Whang starring in "To Catch a Nom"
kitsy aka Maz Whang starring in “To Catch a Nom”

Miss Jenny likes:

The boyz!
Farting on Daddy
Chasing the boyz
Grooming the boyz
Chin rubs from Daddy
Chewing on shoes
Shredding paper
Daddy talking gibberish
Snuggling with Daddy

Dislikes:
Wind
Shoes with feets in ’em
Being picked up
Litterbox “accidents”
Daddy going to work

Miss Jenny: Paper, remote, rock rock
Miss Jenny: Paper, remote, rock rock

This is just too sweet for words.


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Caturday Blogging: Mazuzu needs a watch or the tyranny of noms

It’s not that Maz Whang is selfish, exactly… Or even that Tito is an enabler, but… Let’s again face the fact that Maz, a bit like Bad Santa, is an eating, drinking, sh*tting machine, who zeroes in on food with purpose and violence.

He does burn through calories like a three alarm fire and prefers 80 degrees weather.

Tito would even sit on a kitchen chair, looking at us with eyes half-closed, a signal that he wants canned food, only to leave it to Maz once he showed up: in other words tricking us into feeding Maz even more.

watchful Tito
I watch and see all

But that’s just Tito being the Big Brother, the Paraclete. Three in the morning, Maz digs at my wife, standing on her for effect. Claws are always out, by the way: he always has that sense of urgency about him, like Indiana Jones pressing his face in the wall as he is about to get crushed: “we-are-going-to-die!

The rule is, though: no canned food until six a.m.

Which means that for Rudha-an, the window from 3 to 6 a.m. is a preview of purgatory, pummeled by this mace wrapped in leather while I (mostly) sleep soundly and justly. The way of the world is the way of the cat, perhaps especially one that looks like David Bowie in “the man who fell to Earth”.

Maz fleshy folds
Keeps food in the fleshy folds of his visage...

Okay, in truth, Maz is more Richard Widmark than Bowie, but he is a star.

Good thing, then, that Maz’ naked ambitions are checked by the crème brulee that is Miss Jenny. We used to joke that Maz was nuclear powered, watching him streak through the apartment, up and down the furniture and hanging from the cat tower like a monkey. But she matches him step by step and then some. And that’s no small feat.

Tito hugging Jenny
She is so nommable

So while the Whang does his thang, the blue-eyed she-devil chases after him to steal… Well, kisses, actually.

Jenny and Maz
I wuvs him

That’s right, she nuzzles both boys and grooms them to the point that we thankfully no longer need to use Q-tips on Maz’ flappers.

Maybe she can be enticed in tackling Maz when he starts his food dance at three in the morning…? No.

Nope, she’ll stand right next to him waiting for noms, maybe even egging him on. She dances to her own tune, that one: if noms aren’t forthcoming, she’ll just force Maz into a high-speed chase or chew on his leg while Tito watches from the shadows in the hallway, always waiting.

Maz Jenny Tito
Looks like a Disney movie...

So… “Jules and Jim“, or might a “Pact of Steel” be in the works? All I know is even I often wake up from being hit by a high-speed feline cannonball, making me yell “F****G FASCIST!!!” like Jeff Lebowski…


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Caturday Blogging: the temptation of Tito

After 40 days and nights of Jenny and Maz farting through the wilderness, which is still ongoing, and being relentlessly tempted to misbehave, Tito finally gives in…

Tito
Moi?

Sure, sure, the other two are so much fun to romp and wrestle with, and so… Nommable.

Kitsune
In here with us

Sure, Maz steals food and likes to plant his arse and naughty bits in our faces when we sleep (I found an egg roll on the kitchen floor this very morning), while Jenny attacks anything that moves or she thinks is moving, farting up a storm as I lean to pet her.

Miss Jenny
Chicka chicka bow wow

Tito started by playing alone behind the drapes, as he likes to do. once in a while stopping to see if the others were enticed to come and check him out. This took some time, as Maz was busy looking for something to steal, or “liberate” as he calls it, in the kitchen and Jenny herself was stalking him, fascinated as she is by his spectacular nakedness ( she often looks back at us with a WTF is that look on her face).

Suddenly the noises from the window became a racket and we both turned to see that Tito had climbed up the drapes all the way to the ceiling, his head rotating almost 180 degrees, “exorcist” like. This was a first… The climbing, I mean. I’ve seen him do the head thing before when he’s tripping on catnip.

Sigh… Little Tito wants to fly…

Evil, never forget, is ever watchful.


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