Caturday: Plotting the Catapocalypse

It’s a well known fact that the pointy eared people are plotting world domination. Training us humans is their first mission. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster take pity on you if you miss feeding time by more than 10 minutes because kitty sure won’t. That’s only one example of the training they enforce. We also learn the danger of leaving the litterbox cleaning for a few minutes too long. I think you get my point. Failure is not an option.

Titanescu
Titanescu aka Grumpy Butt watches over his domain. He will begin his harassment of us a good two hours before feeding time, lest we forget. We do not forget. His stink eye is as terrifying as his lightning fast paws.
Tito and Jenny
Tito (left): Pssst, Jenny! Hahahahaha !They can’t see us. You go steal more pens. I’ll go knock the books off the shelf and then we’ll ….ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

This is what they want us to see.

This is what is really coming.
Catapocalypse


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We have a two year old!

Today is Miss Nightshade Jenny’s birthday. She is two. She also behaves like a typical two year old, but she has done that since she came to live with us.

She came to us as a timid youngster. She spent her first three days hiding under the dresser in the safe room, only emerging to eat and dart back under. I lived in the safe room with her and she finally got brave and emerged. She and I get along quite well, but she’s daddy’s girl and has been from the beginning. 🙂

She's daddy's girl
She’s daddy’s girl
Whatcha doin' down there daddy?
Whatcha doin’ down there daddy?
I haz pretty blue peepers!
I haz pretty blue peepers!

She managed to fit in quickly. Tito adores her and grooms her at every opportunity.

Hold still! I gotta get the dirt behind your ears!
Hold still! I gotta get the dirt behind your ears!

Kitsy adored her. She turned into nurse Jenny when he was sick. She wouldn’t let him sleep alone…ever. She stayed with him and kept him warm. She missed him a lot when he crossed the bridge.

Keeping Kitsy warm
Keeping Kitsy warm

As for behaving like a two year old? She’s a pen thief. She steals lots of things, but her favorite is pens. She likes to bring some to bed and the rest she hides somewhere. I figure they’re behind the futon where I can’t get to them. I wrote about her thieving ways here. She also loves to steal taters. She rolls them around the floor and even brings them to bed. Cats are strange and she’s no exception to the rule.

Of course, she’s still a nervous kitty and will hide from strangers, new lamps, new drapes, etc. She’s even hiding from her mousie birthday present.

Lonely mousie
Lonely mousie

She’ll be playing with it soon. It just might take a day or two. She’s probably still recovering from her fear of the lamp monster.

She was named Nightshade by the shelter. We added Jenny after Pirate Jenny in the Threepenny Opera. Jenny was played by Lotte Lenya in the original movie. She is a prostitute who was mistreated by Mackie (Mack the Knife) and she’s our favorite character. This song is her dream of revenge for the abuse she has endured. This version, by Marianne Faithfull, is a more accurate translation (from the German) than most. I hope you like it as much as we do.

Warning: this song contains a bad word or two and may be NSFW.

You can see the original by Lenya here.


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Caturday: OMG WTF Izzat? Kill it!

Most of our friends living with nervous pointy eared people will be familiar with the sentiment above. Change (ANY change) is met with fear and loathing. In our case it was a new lamp. Yep, we brought home a simple torchier style floor lamp and the world almost ended…for Tito and Jenny (mostly Tito) at any rate.

I decided to assemble the lamp in the kitchen. Tito and Jenny took one look at what appeared to be a headless tentacled monster and scrambled into their bolt-hole (kitchen cupboard). I could see their eyes glow, but that was all.

I had it put together in no time and tucked into place on Lastech’s side of the bed. We turned it on and then ignored it. It took a while. Miss Jenny emerged first. She glared at it for a while. Once she figured out that it wasn’t going to attack or fall on her, she hopped in the basket for a nap.

What izzat thing?
What izzat thing?

Tito was a different story. He crept in on his belly. He glared. He paced a bit like the cavemen around the monolith in “2001: a space odissey“, then bolted back to the cupboard. After about three rounds of this, he finally decided that it wouldn’t kill him. He went off to nap. It will take a while before he gets brave enough to approach the bed. If not for the fact that the monster loomed over him, he would have slapped the crap out of it a few times and gotten over it faster.

I don't like it! I would slap it, but it might eat me!
I don’t like it! I would slap it, but it might eat me!

Where was Titanescu through all this? Did he care? Was he upset?

Titan
ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

On the serious side… Yes, we can laugh at Tito and Jenny and their nervousness. However, we do try to make changes as easy on them as possible. Once they went into hiding, we left them alone to come out when they were ready. After all, it may only be a lamp to us, but to them it’s like their entire world was rearranged. We wouldn’t react well to that either.

Back to the funny side and more scaredy cats for you to enjoy.


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Caturday: Peace at last. Er…what?

Titanescu has continued to settle in. He rarely yells at the other two to get off his lawn. However he still has a most powerful stink eye and a lightning fast paw strike. He still plays with Miss Jenny every day and plays a bit with Tito. This week brought us this.

Tito and Titan
Awwwwww

It looked so sweet. Titanescu was quite contented. Peace at last. Then he noticed and … Что за черт? Он трогает меня! followed by slappity slappity. Tito was unfazed.

Here is Miss Jenny trying to disguise herself as a prissy little kitty. It’s a fake out. She’s anything but a girly girl. She’s rough and tough and all girl, but she refuses to conform to anyone’s notion of what’s proper.

Miss Jenny
My, what lovely…poot…jellybeans I have.

My Facebook friend Henry shared this LOL with me. I thought it might be one of Titanescu’s followers. Thank you Henry!

969492_389868094452579_2082919550_n


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Caturday: Circo de Gato

Pandemonium reigns supreme in the JBoD household. Tito, Jenny and Titanescu go ballistic for a while. Once done, it’s naptime. The manic moments are a wonder though.

Martial acrobatics meet Jenny’s Petomania under Tito’s benevolent gaze. If you remember, Miss Jenny runs on poot poot power. Most people can blame the dog. We blame Miss Jenny. These martial acrobatics bring out the best in her. Hmmmm, maybe that’s the worst.

Tito usually stays above the action and watches
Tito usually stays above the action and watches

As for Titanescu, he looks forward to playtime. He’s still a grumpy butt , but he’s a happy grumpy butt. Here’s a little slideshow movie I made of his acrobatics with Jenny. She does most of the acrobatics (and poots), but they have fun. Oh, and please forgive the music’s abrupt ending on the video.


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Caturday: What a week!

This week has been amazing. Proposition 8 was wiped out by the Supreme Court and the 9th Circuit Court surprised everyone by dropping the stay on marriages early. Now Pride week in San Francisco has taken on a new meaning. Marriages have resumed and the City Hall will remain open this weekend.

San Francisco is expecting record crowds for the Pride Parade tomorrow and I’m sure it’s going to be a fabulous party.

Love? We haz it and now everyone can haz it AND marriage too!

Congratulations to ALL the newlyweds and to those will soon be married!

Miss Jenny: Mmmm Tito, I luvs you. You haz a flavor
Miss Jenny: Mmmm Tito, I luvs you. You haz a flavor
Tito: I luvs you Miss Jenny and I won't let you go
Tito: I luvs you Miss Jenny and I won’t let you go

As for Titanescu…

Равенство брака? Да, но убирайтесь с моего газона!
Равенство брака? Да, но убирайтесь с моего газона!


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Caturday: ridiculous faces of madness

Because it’s a usually fleeting thing, catching a glimpse of a cat about to go on its mad-hour romp can be difficult. One second they may be licking themselves, then the very next they dash off to explode out of corners at a dead run and jump on and off furniture.

This took a while to document, not just for one of the kittoons, but all three. The head rears back a bit, the eyes bug out, and there may even be a bit of a Marty Feldman look there.

Marty Feldman
Marty Feldman

The body goes from limp sack of cooked noodles to taut piano wire and boom, it’s on like Donkey Kong, claws out and losing traction as if in a ’70s car chase.

Naturally, Titanescu will do about three minutes before losing steam and plopping somewhere, while the others keep going and going.

This is the moment. On the cusp of lunacy. And it’s just goofy.

Tito
Tito
Miss Jenny
Miss Jenny
Titan
Titanescu


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Caturday: Titan knows best

You know that old grandpa or scary uncle kids like to sneak dangerously close to when he takes a nap, giggling at the hair growing wild out of his nose and ears? Running away when he wakes up mad?

That’s Titan.

The other day he seemed to nap, at least I thought he was, on Rudha-an’s lap. I pretended to pet him, bringing my hand to a couple inches from his back when “whap!!!” he slapped it lightning quick and hard. His expression didn’t even change and he barely moved. Giggling is tricky too: he doesn’t like when she has a fit of the giggles and makes him shake, and he lets it be known by letting out an almost asthmatic, silent hiss.

Life with the ole tyrant.

It’s not that he knows best, he just knows. And don’t you dare question him you damn kids…

Come little bit closer
Come a little bit closer
Closer! Closer!
Closer! Closer!
Don't even think about it
Даже не думайте об этом!


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Caturday: Nipheads

What is it with cats and nip? They go nuts on the stuff. In the case of Titanescu and Miss Jenny it resulted in some awful singing. It also caused us to make a rather interesting discovery about Titanescu.

Titan
It was heavily accented, but it was English. The moment he caught me looking, he reverted back to his native tongue.

Miss Jenny has found her theme song. Never mind that she was named after Pirate Jenny from the Three Penny Opera. THIS is her song.

Jenny
Miss Jenny discovered Cheryl Wheeler and the goofiest song ever. We’re doomed.

As for Tito, no singing for him. He’s too mellow.
Yell Tito a

Here’s another cat getting the goofiness going.

In case you wanted to know what Titanescu and Jenny were singing, here they are.

Miss Jenny’s strange obsession with potatoes began here.


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Caturday: a world of pain…

Illuminated by the flash of white-ish fangs…

New item: the old coot, I mean the Marshal, has developed a fondness for sleeping in the crook of my arm. He’ll rest a paw on my forearm, lay his chin on top of it and go to sleep. That seems to be comfortable for him because his breathing quickly becomes deep and regular, his eyes are fully closed and he’ll twitch slightly from dreaming. As he either goes to sleep or slowly awakens I can even feel his very low purr in my arm.

I tried putting an ear against him, but can’t hear it, so low it is.

Hmmm. Looks like...
Hmmm. Looks like…
Caturday Sam Eagle
… Sam Eagle!

When you look at his eyes, they seem ‘set’, as if his brow were almost furrowed, in anticipation of something bad to happen. I joked that he looks like the eagle from the Muppet Show, but that’s a look I’ve seen on people as well. Rarely does he open them wider, and he only does that when looking at the other two cats.

He does a lot of watching, more than anything else, and I suspect it’s because pain limits what he can do. When he does romp it usually doesn’t last more than three minutes at most. Better than nothing, but hopefully Tito and Jenny will continue to draw him out further, because things won’t get easier as he gets older and lacks energy to exercise.

While his pain is physical, I’ve wondered about the psychological effects. He is safe to pet until about the shoulder blades. Below that, you’re dancing with the Devil. Thankfully there are some rays of hope now and then.

Wide eyed and nubby tailed
Wide eyed and nubby tailed

One positive thing I noticed was that he does not fear us at all: when he slaps or ‘fake’ bites our hand, he doesn’t recoil in fear of being hit or worse. He just sits there staring as if saying ” has the whole world gone CRAZY?”

Jenny has taken to chasing him up the tower and Tito chases him from room to room. It’s not much, but the Marshal likes it and benefits from the exercise: yesterday, he rolled on his back in the ‘dead bug’ position. I wasn’t sure he could even do it, and while we don’t have photo evidence I’m sure we will soon.

Well, three minutes of romping at a time is a start. He does have to save his strength. Just like the Boober moved with more and more economy the sicker he became. And still he continues to last.

Un pont too far
Un pont too far

Thinking about these older cats this week, and the Klingon (not Vulcan!) kind of love the furry brutes have, makes it easier to understand why pain is both universal and private. Marshal Titanescu has trained me to remain very still when he graces my lap with his presence…


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