Caturday: the fartistes

Socially, having a dog on whom to blame your “accidents” is a boon, but even if your cat is a flatuliste,  things become a bit of a stretch.

Jenny makes a good effort of it, especially when I pet her. Hers linger like fog in an old horror flick. Me, I like to wait until an unsuspecting victim forces me to let them under the covers…

Wasn't me..!
Wasn’t me..!

Tito usually jumps a few inches in surprise, then blinks it away…

My eyes are watering!
My eyes are watering!

And Titanescu holds his nose best he can, plotting revenge by not burying his turds next time… “Băși!

Ma, oh man!
Man, oh man!


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Aging gracefully? Hahahahaha &$#@ that!

I remember mom telling me to act my age. It was really silly as she said that when I was two, five, ten and so on. The fact is, I WAS acting my age. 🙂 Now, not so much. There comes an age where we have to be responsible adults and that’s understood. I see absolutely no reason to leave childhood joys behind though. If I had one, I could still entertain myself for hours with an Erector Set.

Men (and women) do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

My dad, for one,  has never lost his joy of playtime. He’s had to adjust a bit over the years and his toys have changed, but he still finds time to play. I had that confirmed when I went back home to the desert for a visit recently.

The Sonoran Desert in Southern California
The Sonoran Desert in Southern California

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Midnight Movie Madness: “Red Dog”

Red Dog” – (92 minutes, Australia, 2011 – PG)

I really want to like movies featuring animal protagonist(s), and I’ll often check out movie listings for older, newer as well as foreign films hoping to find a good one.

But my problem is the same as with Science-Fiction, especially space operas: they both tend to be formulaic and “anthropomorphize” their subject.

Which brings us to “Red Dog“, an Australian film based on actual events. The poster tag lines read: “sometimes you pick the dog. Sometimes the dog picks you”, and “he’s been everywhere, mate.”

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A tree with a drinking problem

It was one of those WTF moments. We sat on a bench on a hill to enjoy the view. Then we looked up. 🙂

I've never heard of a gin swilling tree, but there's a first time for everything
I’ve never heard of a gin swilling tree, but there’s a first time for everything

The bottle wasn’t the only thing in the tree. Lastech spotted this one.

Maybe the tree got drunk and lost the other shoe
Maybe the tree got drunk and lost the other shoe


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Catuesday morning in seven movements

As a follow-up to last Caturday, this is what went on this morning at 5 am…

Tito started with his monkey-boy routine of hanging upside down on the cat tower…

Don't you wish your girlfriend...
Don’t you wish your girlfriend…
... Was sexy like me?
… Was sexy like me?

Notice the rare evil glow in his eyes…

Meh...
Meh…

Although not everyone was impressed…

Oh, you want some?!?
Oh, you want some?!?

Someone was.

Can you make it? Here I'll toss you a rope...
Can you make it? Here I’ll toss you a rope…

PSYCH.

GET OFF MY TOWER
GET OFF MY TOWER

Meanwhile the old coot didn’t even care what was on tee-vee…

Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z....
Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z….


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Raccooneers of New Barbary Coast: threat over the water

Most San Francisco visitors I encounter seem eager to run through certain areas of the City, just so they can snap a few pictures here and there, before returning to their hotel satisfied they’ve pretty much seen it all… Fools.

It is like this:

The photos below were taken at tremendous risk, hence the shaky quality of some shots, but one does not simply tangle with raccooneers and expect to hightail it fully intact.

 They saw us. Sh*t's about to get real
They saw us. Sh*t’s about to get real

For those few who understand there’s more to the park than meets the cursory glance, I say go to the Conservatory of Flowers, Bison paddock or Stow Lake, all those storied places worth hours if not days of exploration, “but I do warn ye, if ye value yer life: ye stay well clear o’ North Lake. Place be full o’ monsters with ’em little teeth”.

The party readying to come ashore
The party readying to come ashore

We ain’t – I mean we’re not talking about cute Strawberry Hill over in Stow Lake with them owls and their neighbors, the blue herons. No.

Land Ho!
Land Ho!

I’m talking about that gloomy islet, New Barbary Coast, where Charlotte Raccoon (née Badger) and the others, like the Harpes,  scourge of squirrels and raiders of birds’ nests, ply their trade from dusk ’til dawn…

Who's that devil with a blue peeper?
Who’s that devil with a blue peeper? Major Tom?!?
A stare to chill the hardiest soul
A stare to chill the hardiest soul

One last word of warning: don’t feed the raccooneers, they’re turning into fat b****s… This ain’t no Disney movie.

raccoon smells humansYeah, bring your camera too, 'cuz we're gonna eat all of that
Yeah, bring your camera too, ‘cuz we’re gonna eat all of that


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Christmas Movie Madness: “rare exports: a Christmas tale”

The evil of Farther Christmas has been unleashed upon the world once more. Can a small group of reindeer herders catch him in time to sell it to the Americans?

Rare exports: a Christmas tale” – (2010, Finland, 84 minutes – rated R)

Like all industries, Christmas is made up of many businesses, the more unsavory and dangerous ones, the more “interesting” the folklore.

The hunters
The hunters

While NORAD pretends to track Santa’s sleigh every year, the real hunting takes place on the frozen ground of Northern Finland, Lapland to be exact. There, rough men practice skills honed over generations, working in groups of three: the tracker, the marker and the sniper. Their quarry is the Wild Father Christmas, an elusive and savage predator pouncing on reindeer and naughty children alike. The following video is NSFW:

In “Rare exports: a Christmas tale“, Mount Kurvatunturi, the site where Father Christmas was entombed is being “excavated” with explosives  by an American company, Unwittingly, they unleash the ancient evil. It is now up to local reindeer herders and father and son Rauno and Pietari Kontio (Jorma and Onni Tommila) to capture the beast and sell it to the Americans.

Rare Exports

based on  the 2003 short “Rare Exports, Inc.” posted above, “Rare Exports: a Christmas tale” is another highly enjoyable example of dry, dead-pan Nordic humor, in the vein of “Trollhunter” or “the sound of noise“. Monty Python lives…  And…

… Father Christmas is out there, ravenous, nasty and lethal. Until the tame final product, result of hard work and hours of beatings, is fit for shipment around the world. “Rare exports: a Christmas tale” is where it begins…

Rare Exports: a Christmas tale” gets five jellybeans. They should show this in schools.

5 beans


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The Flying Wallendas got nothing on this dog

Ok, it’s a bit of exaggeration. The Flying Wallendas have been defying gravity for a century. Recently, Nik Wallenda became the first aerialist to walk across the Niagara Falls.

This pooch doesn’t walk across the Niagara Falls, but what he does is pretty impressive. According to his Facebook page, Ozbert Humpledink is a 3 yr old collie/kelpie cross. He was born in Wales. With the help of his human, he has learned some amazing tricks.

As you can see, Ozzy really loves to perform for his dad.

Now it’s time for the gratuitous cat pics.

We hope you have enjoyed this acrobatic interlude.


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Midnight Movie Madness : “the sound of noise”

The sound of noise” – (102 minutes, Sweden/France, 2010 – rated R)

Drummers Magnus (Magnus Borjeson) and his pal Sanna (Sanna Persson) are speeding along Swedish freeways in a van, when Sanna’s rythmic (erratic?) driving prompts a motorcycle cop to give chase, which all ends up looking like a terrorist plot after the crashed van is found at the German embassy’s gates and the tick-tock of the metronome on the dash sounds like a bomb to the cops.

Crazy?

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