It’s another manic Monday and that requires a bit of humor. I tend to surf the net until something catches my eye. That usually results in a snowball effect of memory jogs and link chasing. That is pretty much what happened in this case.
I found this video.
The above video immediately reminded me of my favorite Ab Fab bit that I just had to share.
Yes, Miss Jenny is a kibble tosser. She has made an art of it. Sadly, our feet are suffering. Kibble just isn’t fun to step on in the dark. It took a while before we saw how she did it. We knew it was her because we never had to clean up kibble before she came to live with us.
One day, I walked into the kitchen and caught her in the act. She stands IN the kibble bowl to eat. When she’s done eating, she makes a large leap to get out and the kibble flies everywhere. What a silly little kitty.
Non Sequitur warning
This was just too funny
Paraskevidekatriaphobia, the irrational and morbid fear that something really, really, but really bad is going to happen when the calendar turns to Friday the 13th.
Irrational? But there is a greater fear about a more definite and immediate threat of getting your head ‘sploded by cats. And there’s no name for that yet.
Even Miss Jenny was excluded from their conversation… Whatever, man… ‘Spect the ‘stache…
Eventually, Maz ambled back into the living room and “parked” himself in front of the television until…
Maz being nothing if not excessive, he ‘sploded another head, lifting his paw under the strain. Either that or he was passing gas.
For those who haven’t mastered their powers yet, and I pray they don’t, Tito recommends starting with something easy like the photobomb…
Today is the birthday of a friend of JBoD. Her blog is Nekoneko’s Movie Litterbox. If you love horror movies from around the world, her site is the place to go. It has great reviews, good humor and the occasional recipe.
Here’s a cool birthday vid for a fellow cat lover. 🙂
Oh, and since you said that your name means “happiness” or “beautiful snow” I thought I would add a vid from Japan that seems to show both at the same time. It’s also food related as it shows white radishes being freeze dried.
Here’s Lastech’s recipe for pappardelle, bacon and cabbage he cooked for my birthday:
there are several variations of this, but the basics remain the same: pasta, cabbage, garlic and bacon.
For the pasta, buckwheat pappardelle’s the best. The texture and flavor of the buckwheat pappardelle really blends with the other ingredients here.
For two people, I used about a third of a pound of bacon and cooked that first. Pancetta’s recommended in many recipes but it feels to fat (bit grisly) to me, and bacon’s a perfect substitute. Save the bacon grease for biscuits and gravy later…
While cooking the bacon, I boiled the half head of cabbage cut in medium strips (to match the wide cut of the pasta) along with two (maybe three) heads of garlic. You cannot have too much garlic… Ever.
While the cabbage and garlic finish softening at a simmer, take the bacon for a quick trip to the freezer. This’ll harden it and make it easier to crumble into the mix.
Pappardelle cooks quickly, between 5 to maybe 8 minutes in boiling water. But since it will continue cooking in the cabbage/bacon/garlic mix, you can shorten it’s time in the water by maybe a couple minutes or so. This way it’ll continue to soften as it absorbs the flavors of the mix and also release its own, without turning mushy.
For best results, use a bit of the bacon grease and melting butter as you stir everything together.
Adding sliced mushrooms adds a lot to the earthy flavors of the dish. Not necessary, but extremely enjoyable. Since we didn’t have mushrooms, I added an onion (caramelized). In addition, Brussels sprouts work great in place of cabbage.
We have always said that our kitties earn their names. As a result, we don’t normally name them right away. In Miss Jenny’s case, we did it differently. Her name at the SPCA was Nightshade, a perfectly poisonous, yet wonderful plant. It can be so deadly and yet it gives us potatoes and eggplant, not to mention chile peppers. The name Jenny came from the Three Penny Opera and the Pirate Jenny song. Miss Jenny has now shown her true colors and her name is perfect.
Don’t let her innocent face and lovely blue eyes fool you. She can be murderous. We have found the evidence. It’s appalling, I tell you. We didn’t really do anything for the holidays. We did get something for our pointy eared people. It was a couple of catnip fish with feather tails. I’m sure they are designed to totally confuse the kittehs, but that’s another story.
I awoke the other morning to total carnage. Miss Jenny had wreaked havoc upon the toys. The destruction wasn’t quite complete, but it was awful.
I know it was Jenny. I caught her in action and here is the evidence.
Albert Camus said it best:
Murder is terribly exhausting.
He was correct.
To see why the Pirate Jenny song is so perfect, just follow along below the fold to read the lyrics.
Continue reading “Miss Nightshade Jenny Has Shown Her True Colors”
My argument is that science often attempts to recreate naturally occurring phenomena by technological means, and that the results often are subject to the “law of unintended consequences”.
Over the past several decades, Hollywood has been instrumental in ‘gently’ opening the lid of the Genie’s bottle, through movies and television series designed to familiarize people with what was just over the horizon. Today, web instruments, like memes for instance, are used with similar intent.
We see hints poop up everywhere until they tend to coalesce into messages picked up and disseminated further by mass media.
Case in point, as we’ve all read and heard: the internet is made of tubes… The internet is made of cats… Fear the cat butt… Photos of cats’ eyes glowing in the dark “assuming direct control”… And now, cat farts. Why? To get a sense as to where this all might lead, let’s first have a look at NASA’s recording of solar events to analyze their occurrences and effects, using technology developed at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory (LLNL).
The technology, developed to improve computer chips’ manufacturing specifications and performance, was used to great effect by the Solar Dynamics Observatory (SDO). Below is a photo montage of slides taken by NASA’s vehicle:
Now for comparative purposes is a now familiar capture of Miss Jenny’s fart using a mass spectrometer:
While there do appear to be similarities, the shapes and energy releases (swirls and lightning) in the cat’s fart seem to display a more organized pattern, maybe even a design. But I’ll leave the potentially religious considerations to proponents of either Ceiling Cat or Basement Cat, and concentrate on the science.
The releases of energy, discovered by the LLNL scientists have been analyzed in conjunction with a researcher at Stanford’s Linear Accelerator Center (SLAC), and have been shown to be ‘influenced’ by emissions of light particles popularly (and erroneously) referred to as “laser eyes”.
Notice the realigning of molecules and energy. An instrument developed jointly by LLNL and SLAC is used to measure the pulse by pulse levels of energy of an X-ray Free Electron Laser (XFEL).
Now, the XFEL’s ability to capture atoms and molecules in motion with minimal disruption led to another intriguing discovery at SLAC’s Linac Coherent Light Source (LCLS) program: molecules in cats’ farts are imprinted with data and react to photonic emissions from their eyes (the cats’, not the molecules. And if you don’t stop cracking jokes in the back, you’ll get to stay after class).
My theory is that a cat farting on a human is simply an attempt to fully communicate with us, by ‘flagging’ all of our senses, and making us inhale information, so to speak. This process, or more accurately ‘collection of processes’ is now the subject of study for applications ranging from data storage and management to renewable energy (they cannot stop farting, it seems). So if the law of unintended consequences does apply, we may well end up with complete world domination by cats and find ourselves in the litter box… Remember:
Regrettably, I need to talk about the passing of two of my favorites… Let me rephrase that: the passing of gas by Mazuzu “Mace” Whang and Jenny N.
This is another dimension to the old “fear the cat butt” slogan, such as the one I wrote about in “when the nitty gets real gritty”.
When I grew up, our cats were indoors/outdoors with a large yard in which to romp. Our current crop of kittounes are housebound, but still get plenty of exercise. So, why they should squeeze out the foulest SBDs* on a semi-regular basis, I have no clue.
There’s no competition to eat, they all have plenty and stress-free nomming sessions.
I have no idea whether Tito ever cuts the cheese, but there is no doubting the other two open up the valves of hell whenever they get heavy petting.
The most foul? Miss Jenny. That’s right, and I can tell when it’s her as the air takes on a different hue and seems to shimmer as in the summer heat. That’s just before the cloud envelops you like an overly friendly drunk who hugs you and won’t let go and follows you all the way to the window.
You best start the fan, because the fiendish aerosol hangs about for a while and sounds travels slower through it: in her farts, no one can hear you scream. It even generates its own lightning!
No. There is no silver lining to those clouds… As to Maz, you can hear the faintest “buzz”, a bit like a distant boat motor and get a look of heavy sarcasm: “there’s more room outside than inside”, it seems to say. Then you feel like someone pelted you with rotten eggs and cat food.
* SBD: Silent But Deadly
Item one: Maz Whang wants to be featured for at least all three summer months, get this, without a shirt on… And despite the fact that he does need a male bra…
Item two: Miss Jenny would do one of the winter months, being a snowshoe and all, but her papers show she’s, ahem, not of age. And this ain’t a “Little Miss Sunshine” contest.
Item three: Tito has no interest in these pursuits, still perfecting his “Scanners” routine of making heads explode on Tee-Vee, or “s’plode” as he likes to say. For an example, see here.
Naturally, Mazuzu is the one who came up with the calendar idea, and if he had his way, it would be his calendar, all twelve months of it. Ham.
Cats have appeared in art throughout the ages. The ancient Egyptians had statues and paintings depicting cats. They even mummified their cats so as to have them by their side in the afterlife. These days, cats as art has been taken to a new level. Rather than statues or paintings, the living cat(s) have become the art. I hope you enjoy Still Life With Cats.
Still life with cats and apples.
Still life with kumquats and cats.
Still life with radishes and cats
We know cats took over the internet.
We have always known this would be the beginning, and we have proof that the end is nigh for man’s dominion over this world…
Tito has been exercising his power of inflicting pain on humans who displease Him from afar. Witness Him assuming direct control over this human on TV.
Mazuzu Whang displaying His power, eyes and ears in perfect celestial alignment… Did I mention he can fly?
Miss Jenny Herself ripped tufts of Her fur in rage (well okay, it was a fluffy toy but the intent was chillingly clear).
Traumatic though this upheaval may seem, Cats prove themselves to be kind Masters, Ceiling Cat be praised…
